boomsticks, aisle 10. boomsticks, aisle 10. (aka sloatfest preview #1)

15 of us met up in Utah, back at the end of July, for a canyoneering/float-trip that we affectionately dubbed Sloatfest (the name Slotfest had already been taken.) Two months after the fact, I finally got around to playing with the all the footage…here’s the first of many gems I found. This clip was taken late at night in the Moab supermarket, after a long evening of drinking at the brewery, amid somewhat frantic shopping for 4 days of food. That’s Jeff “boomsticks” Purton on the intercom. Wait for it…

ZPG (sorta) on the BART!

My buddy Dave spotted this little public-service ad on the Fremont – Richmond Bart this week…

Some other ads on the BART say:
“Thanks for not gridlocking today”
“Thank you, sleeping behind your sunglasses riders”
“Thank you Saturday baseball game riders”

friggin sweet. (thanks for the heads up, Dave)

tools of the trade

awesomeness always oozes out of the details… (see notes on the image in flickr)

tuesday’s booty

I spent yesterday on my bike, collecting tires from about 10 bike shops all over town. I rode from Cole Valley W to the Outer Sunset, then N to the Outer Richmond, up and over the Presidio to the Marina, and then back through the Tenderloin and a little bit of the Mission.

“One giant step for goatkind” in Seattle

Thank god I made it up to Seattle a few weeks ago, when it was still goatless.

Because oh, how things change.

Weeks pass. Rains come. Leaves fall. And then the Goat Justice League (I’m not making this up) and Seattle Councilmember Richard Conlin team up, and amend the land-use code, and all of a sudden goats end up with the right to life and limited liberty up there.

I’m not making this up either: Conlin, who sponsored the bill to legalize goats in town (treating them like dogs or cats, as long as they’re dehorned, neutered, and kept in yards), said this, upon its unanimous approval: “One small step for man, one giant step for goatkind.”

And Jennie Grant, the president of the Goat Justice League (which she says is 100 members strong), said this: “We would be a really charming city if we were a place people could keep minifarms with chickens, goats, a vegetable garden and fruit trees.”

Charming? What about the evil that goats embody? Has anybody considered THAT??

Perhaps my favorite quote from the whole story (I’m not making this up either), was this TV-newsish intro, an intro we’ll hopefull be spared from ever seeing again: “Monday’s vote marked yet another gain for miniature goats…”

Asphalt Nation

I finally got around to reading parts of Jane Holtz Kay’s Asphalt Nation, which came out in 1998 and seems as relevant as ever.

Kay says the problem is beyond gridlock; it’s “lifelock” — reliance on the automobile for everything.

She explains that commuting is not the big bad menace I had thought it was. No, the menace is far more insidious and intertwined… the menace is errands.

Nearly 80% of car trips Amerincans make are errands! Milk. Toothpaste. Little league. The doctor. The gym (talk about silly). The theater. A restaurant. As Kay writes, “the ministuff of life clogs the nation’s roads.” (And yet, what reasons — i.e excuses/justifications — do we come up with for buying big cars? We say it’s so we can take big, long-distance vacations.) When the book was written a decade ago, american households averaged 6 round trips per day.

Kay writes about kids losing their independence and freedom as a result of being transported everywhere they go, with no capacity to get anywhere on their own. She blames the automobile-way-of-life for removing neighborly interaction and eye-to-eye contact from kids’ lives, and for turning the elderly into “prisoners with no one to talk to and nowhere to go.” She calls it a social tragedy, and she’s right.

“Autonomy demands mobility and mobility demands a car,” she writes. Yet “we seem to forget that the “freedom” is reduced by the servitude of a car-bound society that denies movement any other way.”

If there’s any good news, it’s that these are lifestyle choices… and as we know, there is another way…

SF Bicycle Film Festival = overstimulation

Just recovered from 48 hours of bike-infused goodness, courtesy of the Bicycle Film Festival and a couple of alleycat races.

First, there were lyrical movies like Macaframa, in which Phil and Colin roll up/down/around town struttin’ their smooth tricks:

There were two AMAZING shorts — Street Fighter and Skiboys — by Benny Zenga; I’m gonna do whatever must be done to get my paws on those. But the highlight of the show, at least judging by the racuousness of the crowd at the Victoria Theater, was when the East Bay Scraper Bike Boiz got on stage with their scraper bikes:

There were also a couple of alleycats that I raced with Devin. Not sure why, but partner races have been a theme for the last month around here. Four weeks ago, we rode a race in honor of the anniversary of two messengers, and, after riding around for an hour, I shoved a delicate pastry into Devin’s mouth and he read me a sweet poem at the finish, and we ended up in 4th place. So last week, when I heard that Demarco was putting on SF Scavengers as a partner race, I called up Devin… a frantic, sweaty hour later, we cruised in to Gestalt in 1st place (my first alleycat win!). Yesterday, Demarco hosted another partner race, called Best Friends Forever — so I called Devin an hour before the start and he boogied down to the Ferry Building just in time. I was in within view of the first and second-placed guys through the second checkpoint; but probably flubbed it when I chose to run up the Lyon street stairs with my bike over my shoulder rather than ride up through the Presidio. At any rate, Devin and I cruised down to the finish line on Capp st. in 3rd place — and took home some sweet Chrome bags with the Bicycle Film Festival logo on them.

So here’s to all those race sponsors, race organizers, awesome friends, and incredible film-makers who put so much energy and love into making it an awesome weekend.

I TOLD you driving was no fun…

“News” (confirming what we already know) from the front page of today’s Chronicle:

“Bay Area traffic congestion isn’t getting any better. But the good news, if you can call it that, is that it’s getting worse at a slower pace than in most of the nation’s metropolises, according to a national transportation study released Tuesday.

Both the San Francisco and San Jose metropolitan areas ranked in the top 10 most-congested urban areas, according to the annual report from the Texas Transportation Institute at Texas A&M University. San Francisco ranked second in hours each driver spends sitting in traffic above and beyond normal driving time; San Jose ranked eighth.

Los Angeles led the way. Commuters there spend an extra 72 hours in traffic each year compared with 60 hours in San Francisco and 54 hours in San Jose. The national average for all U.S. urban areas was 38 hours of delay.”

* That “delay time” is in addition to “regular” commuting time. Ouch.

Shit-tons of NEW stuff at ZPG

Newness is metaphorically dripping from every orifice here at ZPG world headquarters. (LITERALLY.)

First, I made a new front page. Check it out.

Next up: I’ve started selling some rad new stickers!

I’m psyched about this one (available only in black):

And even more psyched, in the dorkiest possible way, about this one (available in black, yellow, and red): the long-awaited debut of a euro version of ZPG, or, if you will, ZPL (Zero Per Liter). Check out the euro font, the sly use of the metric system, and note the European currency. Not too shabby, huh?

NOW AVAILABLE!

NOW ANNOUNCING ZPG BELTS!

I’ve started making belts! Out of old bike tires! And no goats! They keep your pants from falling down! They look friggin’ cool! It’s like recycling, but better! It’s so exciting!

— Advanced Praise for ZPG belts —

“Man, that ZPG belt is tough — you could club a seal with that thing!”
-Adam

— — — — — — — — — — —

I’ve been scheming this up for a while now, and at long last, *almost* every detail is in place. So here’s the deal:

This operation of mine is not very high-tech, and it’s not supposed to be. I ride to bike shops around town, collecting bike tires otherwise destined for landfills. Sometimes, I bring beer to the guys and gals in the shops, to thank them. Then I carry the tires home on my shoulder, and often look like an idiot, or some crazed hoola-hooping biker.

Once back at ZPG world headquarters, things get a little more technical. I use a crafty little homemade tool to cut the beads off of every tire. (I’m making a giant rubber ball out of the beads.) Then I clean the tires with Simple Green (a biodegradable citrus solvent). After that, using a little rivet installer, I fasten a buckle onto each belt. Then I punch holes in the other end. When all is said and done, I turn on a 900-degree branding iron, and burn the name ZERO PER GALLON into every belt I make. As you’d expect, creating the SooperDooper-Quik-’N-EZ NoHands Keep-U-Riding Fastening System (SDQNEZNHKURFS) takes some work.

These ZPG belts cost $20, and are available in 4 colors and 3 sizes:
—-
Redish
Yellowish
Greenish/blueish
Blackish
—
Small (fits a 31″ waist)
Medium (fits a 34″ waist)
Large (fits a 37″ waist)
—

***Update October 2008*** These photos feature belts made with velcro, which I don’t make anymore. The colors are the same, but now there’s a shiny chromed buckle on one end.

More importantly, this isn’t some Indonesian assembly-line factory. It’s just me. As a result, I’m starting out gently, and only making 500 belts. Yep, just 500. If people want more, I’ll step up and make more.

Not surprisingly, a lot of friends have suggested that I ought to hire someone, or somehow outsource the production of ZPG belts. In these conversations, the phrases “scale the business,” and “think about growth” often come up. Since the beginning of this scheme, though, I’ve had one answer.

I DON’T WANT TO GROW. There, I said it.

I like the size of my belt operation as it is right now. I enjoy making and selling them, and I enjoy talking to my esteemed customers. If I grow, I’ll lose what I love. Work will overwhelm me. I’ll spend too much time inside, too much time cutting and grommeting and emailing, and I’ll probably get arthritis and lose my golden California tan and end up with really pale, pasty skin with tons of blue veins showing through. Yuck. More importantly, I’ll lose my time — time that I spend outside, biking and climbing and sailing and otherwise galavanting around; time that I spend with my friends; time that I spend working on other projects; time that I use to breathe. In short, I’ll lose my life. And what’s the point of working toward that end?

So that’s why I only make 10 belts a day.

Think of it this way: I hand-make the belts, one at a time. I shove ‘em into boxes myself, and drop ‘em off in the mailbox with my own two hands. Sometimes I jam out in my little shop. Sometimes I drink a couple of beers. No matter what, I’m smiling. So if that sounds good to you, I hope you’ll wait, patiently. It’s for a good cause.

Thanks for understanding. Now buy some belts for you and your friends!

-Jonny5
Head Honcho, Zero Per Gallon

Seattle in a day

What’s the best way to explore a big city? By bike, of course!

I had a free day in Seattle a week ago (between climbing excursions to Index and the North Cascades), so I borrowed a fixie (Thanks Craigslist, and especially Ross; I gotcha covered when you head down this-a-way), found a free bike map, and rode around in a fury, peddling my ZPG wares and making bike-friends as I went.

The highlights of my Tuesday:

-Discovering the hidden bicycle mecca that is Mobius Cycle, easily the most amazing bicycle shop/lounge/factory/warehouse I’ve ever been to. I met Niki, the chief “bicycle stylist” there (check out her creations); picked up the 61st printing of the 2nd issue of velograph; saw the new place where Dave Wilson does his magic (he spiced up Reinhold, the beautiful Gios Compact Pro I used to own); and saw some mid-creation Dank Bags.

- Stopping by Wright Brothers Cycle Works, a rad little co-op with a great little museum of classy bikes/parts, and meeting Michael, the publisher of Cranked magazine.

-Finally seeing, touching, feeling, and drooling on one of the glorious bags made out of recycled bicycle tubes by Alchemy Goods. The guys there have saved something like 20,000 tubes from sitting in landfills, and, in the process, created a product that is, as they say: “waterproof + stainproof = seattleproof.” I totally dig it.

Other Seattle highlights: the ridiculous supply of funny little things at Archie Mcphee (now my second-favorite McPhee, after the writer), the fish ladder at the Chittenden Locks, and September weather.

Last but not least, a shout out to all the cool cats at the other bike shops I hit up, including Velo Bike Shop, R&E Cycles, Montlake Bicycle Shop, FreeRange Cycles, Recycled Cycles, Ti Cycles, Speedy Reed’s, and a couple others (Counterbalance, 2020) that, sadly, were closed. But hey, everyone needs a vacation.