Evil Goat News, part 8 (thanks, alert readers)

I’ve never worked in law enforcement, so I can’t speak from experience, but I imagine that cops have seen pretty much every trick in the book, and that they’re not deterred when their suspects transform themselves into goats. I mean, come on — you’d  have to be a total rookie to fall for that move.

That’s why police in Lagos, Nigeria, are holding a “black and white beast” (also known as a goat) in custody. According to the Kwara State Police Command Force, the goat is actually an armed robber who tried to steal a Mazda 323, and then, just before being apprehended, transformed into a goat. Apparently, there was a second car thief, but he got away, or transformed himself into something less obviously evil, like a squirrel, or a bird, or a tire, or a newspaper, or pretty much anything. I think Harry Potter once said something about using the powers of sorcery and witchcraft carefully.

The “best quote in the story” prize goes to Tunde Mohammed, a police spokesman, who was probably asked about what sort of investigation would follow.  “It… has to be proved scientifically,” he said, “that a human being turned into a goat.”